Expectations.

Is it so bad to have expectations?  How else are we supposed to know what we want?  But is it wrong to have expectations with human beings and in relationships?  I don't know and that's why I'm asking.  I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster for a while now and I'd like to get off.  How do you apply former relationships and what you like about them to your new one(s) without getting tripped up?  Perhaps you don't, but it's hard to separate true, honest desires from unrealistic expectations.  When is it unrealistic?  Unconditional?  And maybe that's why I love my dog so damn much, I don't expect anything out of her except some mild manners and soft fur.  Why can I not apply that to my relationships?  Maybe I could blame the media, the magazines, the fictional relationships of screen and tube that present this belief that you will get everything you want.  When do you bend?

Deep down I know that you can't really judge anybody because you will never truly understand where they are coming from.  You will never know how it feels to look out of their eyes, piecing what they see together with their brains, and interpreting it all in their own way.  You can really try to listen, try to dissect it and try to empathize, but you will never fully understand.   I know this.  I know having another piece of pizza is bad for me too, but unless I remind myself of  all of the reasons why it's bad (factual reasons and my own) then I'll most always grab another piece.  Maybe it's the same way with people, unless, I take a step back each time, I will probably react immediately--and that can lead to sticky situations, not to mention, a pizza gut.

So how do you meld two completely different lives into one harmonious future?  I know I should say here, "with total acceptance of the other person."  Ok.  How do you cross out all your expectations and arrive at that 'total acceptance.'  And is that what we really want?  If you 'totally accept' a child and place no expectations on them to succeed, then they will have no bar to clear or to raise and will probably waste their potential--we need expectations with kids, but what about others?  Do we throw out our expectations for love delivered in the way we want it, or do we learn to recognize it in different packaging?  

Obviously, this one's not over...